There will be one day that your eyes do not enthrall me

"So, just think of me as just your friend
Who remembers every dress you ever wore..."

what if...

i'd be better off if i just got pissed-off, got the hell outta this company and forgot i ever even knew her...

no looking back. no regrets. no what-ifs.

yeah... maybe. but unfortunately i care about her too much to do that. not to mention the fact that i really need my best friend right now.

so, what do i do?

push her away when those moments of weakness present themselves? be strong when she can't? pretend i don't want her when i do? ignore my feelings?

i guess that's really all i can do at this point.

Time to focus my heart elsewhere so I can save it from these dead-end thoughts of her. fucking 'what ifs'. sometimes it really sucks being an optimist.

but i'll do what i have to do.

for her.

and more importantly for myself.